mommy blogger

I Removed My Kids Pictures from The Internet

Back in 2012 when my first daughter was born, I couldn’t help but share photos of her online. At the time, I used Facebook and Instagram as my main sites for social networking. They were both set on private settings which meant that only people I allowed to see my pictures would see it. I was still apprehensive about posting the pictures but almost all of my family lives on another continent so it was the only way for them to see her.

By the time my second child came around, I grew even more skeptical about posting my kids’ pics online. I started to limit the number of photos I posted as well as not post so frequently. When it comes to my kids I am very protective and a little anal to be honest, and I have since removed all of their photos from social media. Read more to find out why…

Lack of Privacy – Even the people you know personally don’t have respect for your pictures. Time and time again I specifically said don’t share my kids’ pics yet people were sharing them and using them as their profile pictures. How rude! I couldn’t imagine using someone else’s kid pictures. Another privacy concern is strange people viewing your children’s pics. No matter how much you try to keep your photos on lock down, it’s still on the world wide web, an infinite space with all sorts of people. Anything can be hacked, anything can be sent at the touch of a button. Now, I am in no way bashing anyone who shares pics of their beautiful kids but I’m left paranoid after some of the things I read.

Respect for my kids – I’ve always said that I would be mortified if my parents uploaded all of my childhood snapshots online for the world to see. Till date, I hide as much of my awkward childhood pics as I can. It’s just the way I am. One day I got to thinking what if my kids really have a problem with this later on? So I just don’t do it anymore. When my kids reach an age where they can make a sound decision if they want their pics online or not then I would be okay with sharing.

These are my main two concerns with putting my children’s pictures out there on a social platform. Do you feel the same or do you oppose? All comments are welcomed!

xo Kat

 

My Favorite “Me Time” Indulgences

Can you tell I’m not a summer person? Just kidding. I have been MIA for a while and with good reason. Uh oh! Here comes the vent! It’s honestly been overwhelming with the kids, work, house things, outings, errands ever since summer started. I forgot how hard it was having two kids create chaos all day as opposed to just having my toddler with me when my preschooler is in school. Insanity!

As a little hello to my new-ish subscribers and a salute to my fellow parent bloggers, here’s how I survive admidst the chaos.

Books! Books! Books!

I’m never not engaged in a book. As soon as I finish one, I begin another. No intervals. If you’ve read things on my blog from way back you’ll see how drowning myself in stories and book worlds helped me escape from a lot, deal with a lot and conquer a lot. It’s no different today than it was back then.

Creating my own stories

At this point you’re thinking I’m a real party animal, right? On a serious note, it’s something that always came naturally to me. Weaving my own stories and characters and it takes a lot of the stress off my back so to speak. It’s a positive activity that I enjoy doing with all my heart and it helps me wind down from a long tiring day just as much as reading.

Thrift-store Book Hunting

Oh, that wasn’t a different thing than reading? I enjoy finding gems for a buck a piece. I feel like I hit buried treasure when I see hard backs in pristine condition and I almost feel guilty for paying so cheap for them.

TV Junkie

I don’t watch TV daily, a few episodes a week if anything but I do love to get caught up and engrossed in a good long running series. Few of my favs are Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, Vikings, Supernatural. What are some of yours?

Treat Myself to Something Extra

Whoever says money can’t buy happiness didn’t fully think that through. (Again just kidding.) It might seem trivial to some but a lot of parents would agree with me on this. We sometimes enjoy a nice fancy dinner or sometimes just splurging on a favorite make up product does the trick.

Planning

This seriously is one of my favorite things to do. I’m always planning things, from outings to redecorating to enhancing my own life. I am still a work in progress and I dedicate a lot of my spare time to working towards many goals. It might sound like a task but I feel proud when I accomplish something.

It’s not selfish to take a time out for yourself even though you feel guilty for doing it. The key to holding everything together is to take care of you first. Leave me a comment and let me know what are your favorite indulgences.

xo Kat

My “Brown Skin” Hospital Story

We live among more racist people than we’d like to believe and people are more racist than they let on.

I call these people silent racists.

Who are silent racists? I’ll detail my opinions in another post but the shorter version…well it’s people who appear to be accepting of all but they’re not really.

This story is not really racist story, it’s more of a racial profiling one.

So last year when I was just entering my third trimester, could’ve been between six or seven months pregnant, I had a bad tummy ache. The baby was moving strange inside of me and with every movement came excruciating pain. I thought I was going into labor. The pain was so intense I cried for two hours, then it hit me, this might be heartburn as the pain didn’t move to my lower abdomen.

I have really bad reflux and I have to stay away from a lot of foods, beautiful banana included. My body doesn’t process things the way it did a decade a go.(I’m almost 30)
I’m also diabetic so I don’t have a very unhealthy way of eating, lets put it like that.

So when my husband came home to stay with my older kid(2 years old at that time), I took an uber and went to the hospital. Being a pregnant woman, they sent me directly to labor and delivery emergency section. Up until this point I was still experiencing sharp pains.

So I got into their hospital gown, took vitals and told the doctor everything I needed to. I even took my diabetic medication and prenatal vitamins in the event they were causing something. I specifically told the doctor that I needed to see if all was okay with the baby and I mentioned my reflux problem. This doctor was a young doctor, part of someone’s team maybe and he was also brown.(just thought I’d insert that)

Nevertheless he wasn’t the “big” doctor. When she rolled in he told her everything, showed her my meds etc etc. From the time he mentioned the word reflux, she nodded and smiled then looked at me and asked me what I ate. So I answered noodles, which do have oil but it was one of the things that actually stayed down during my pregnancy. Being diabetic, I did NOT have a normal sized portion, just enough not to let my blood sugars drop.

So at that time she started nodding and telling me about the indian food that I eat. Without listening to what I was saying about my reflux problem and my diabetic problem, she went off on the spicy Indian food that I eat and the table cream we use in the food. I was racially profiled because of my brown skin. I was not born in India and my diet does not consist of anything Indian.

When I told her that I don’t eat Indian food, she looked at me and laughed in her non-American accent. “You’re Indian and you don’t eat Indian food? HA HA HA”
I missed the part where Indians can’t have a different diet other than their own and I also missed the part where this woman who appeared to be so informed about my life got her information from.

Just because I am brown, does not mean I was born in India and I continuously eat foods that make me end up in the hospital with reflux. And by the way, this wasn’t the first time that I ended up in the hospital with reflux. So my diagnosis was being brown and eating brown people food, no mention of a medication was made in my presence. I was given a consolation ultrasound because I insisted on knowing if all was well with the baby and then I was discharged.

When I asked the young doctor about what I should take for the refux, he didn’t know what to say really. I had to ask him if I should take what I usually take and he kinda went along with it.

And that folks was my brown skin hospital story.

Disclaimer: This is a part of storytime. It’s not meant to have a proper conclusion.

xo Kat

Taking Care of You (Mom Edition)

When you become a mother, or even a wife, your life as you know it changes. There’s someone else that you have to put before yourself and your needs. As sentencing as it sounds, it’s what comes with being a mother. Naturally, our family becomes our main focus.

Some of us return to long days of work without seeing our precious little ones and some of us decide to become a stay-at-home mom. Regardless of what our decision is after becoming a mom, it affects all of us. Our vision are all the same…the kids well being comes first.

I myself am a stay-at-home mom. My husband and I decided earlier on that it’s cost effective not to put our kids in daycare as well as the fact that we want our kids to have at least one family member with them daily. We’re both from different continents and have no immediate family to expose our cultural values and upbringing to our children so the best option was that I become a stay-at-home mom. I’m also very paranoid about leaving small children in a daycare setting, too many disturbing videos circulating the web.

After my first child, I was overwhelmed with excitement, being a brand new mom. My baby was like a real life doll I can change into cute outfits, change diapers, sing to, cuddle and love all the time. Unfolding the new joys of motherhood is a different kind of high, it’s why we have seconds and thirds right?

But when it gets to being routine and you forget how to be yourself in the process, you may not feel the same about motherhood as you did initially. It’s nothing to feel guilty about, we all need a break. (I’m still waiting on mine 🙂 ) You’re human and there’s only so much you can do. People will make you feel like you’re a complainer and your task is easy…it’s really not. If being a mother wasn’t a full time job, then why do we pay others for child care?

As a parent, your working hours never turn off, your brain never relaxes. You’re constantly planning and organizing things for your family, not to mention the constant mess you have clean daily. It is strenuous when you’re like the backbone of your family. I appreciate the fact that my husband treats me like an equal when it comes to our kids and our house. Despite working many hours, he never makes me feel like my job is easier and I don’t need the help.

After I had my first child, I often felt like I didn’t have a life anymore. Everything was wrapped up into caring for this small human. I didn’t take any time for myself. I didn’t read which is my main thing to do for recuperation from life. My attitude stunk, I was aggravated by everything. Having kids also puts a strain on your marriage. You may tend to use the wrong tone with your spouse or be forgetful that they’re half of your partnership.

That’s why it’s important to take a step back and take care of you. If you don’t take care of you, it’s detrimental for the survival of your family. You can fall apart as a person and blame your family for it. You can become judgemental and bitter to those who seem to have a handle on their lives.

I still don’t get any time off as there’s no one that I trust to watch my kids but I’ve found small things that help me reconnected with who I am. Do things that make you happy such as a hobby. Make the extra effort for spousal time, your husband needs you just like your kids need you. If you can manage it, plan a girls night out with your friends. Have some downtime, relax and recover from constantly going and going. I personally love to sit and do nothing, just hear my own thoughts.

Be productive. Find something that you enjoy doing and do it. For instance, I write. I’m not very good at it albeit but it makes me happy, it gives me something to do daily. Writing this blog right now is relaxing to me, I kinda left the kitchen in a mess to have a few minutes to myself…ooops. And that’s another thing, always remember that tomorrow is another day. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect everyday. Leave the chores sometimes and just enjoy your kids.

A lot of us also forget to take care of our appearance. In no way am I vain or pushing anyone to wear a full face of make up all the time but it helps you feel good about yourself. When you look into the mirror at your tired face, it can make you feel worse about yourself and your life. Occasionally, get your hair done or your nails, buy a new shirt. This may all sound like nonsense to you until you’re put into this situation.

If you don’t care of you, then you can’t take care of your family. If mom is happy and contented, then it makes you motivated to tackle your days. There’ll always be stress, an argument with hubby, a financial burden, your kids giving you attitude, but if you are alright, then you have the power to overcome anything. Nothing is bigger than you. You’ve got this moms.

xo Kat

About My Blog

I do have a tagline at the top of my blog with words of what my blog entails but I thought I’d share why and how I got my blog started.

I know I haven’t been blogging recently, I’ve been caught up with life and a lot of projects (writing) day and night so my blog took a backseat for a minute. I do however, have a lot of topics to cover on my blog. Hopefully I can get to it soon.
For a while I have wanted to try vlogging or making videos on Youtube but I’m too shy for it so blogging is perfect for me. I have been writing and keeping journals since forever so I’m quite comfortable in this space.
Why have I started a blog? Well, I have a lot of things to say and I don’t like posting small statuses on Facebook. People always think it’s an attack or it’s about them, plus I feel like I can archive longer notes on a blog. 
I don’t like talking about personal experiences to people but blogging gives me the freedom to tell my stories in a way that could inspire people or maybe even entertain. I love debating topics in a non-biased manner, even if other people don’t agree with my point of view and that is something I can’t do on most social media platforms. Most people just lack the capacity to think straight and detach their own hang ups about things. 
Like my tagline says, this blog is about parenting, diabetes, lifestyle, thoughts, rants, inspirations and books. I’m an avid reader and an aspiring writer, books mean a lot to me. I do book reviews on this blog, so if you’re into that, check out my older posts and subscribe for newer ones. 
A lot of people that I know personally don’t know about this blog and there’s a reason for that. I’ve always felt different, a square fitting into a circle and that’s mainly because people around me can’t stop with the negativity. This blog is to express my freedom and growth as a human being, something I can’t do in my everyday life. 
Anyways, thanks for listening to my little rant.
xo, Kat

Kids or No Kids?

People with kids love to convince other people what joy kids will bring into their lives, how they shouldn’t wait or how rewarding it is to become a parent. People without kids think otherwise. They view kids as noisy little puke machines that will ruin their freedom/happiness. The truth is, there is no wrong or right way when it comes to deciding kids or no kids. To put it simply, parenting is not for everyone.

It should definitely be a choice and not something forced onto an individual. Everyone leads different lifestyles which may not be accommodating for a kid. And that’s fine. But with kids come change. A person must be willing mentally for this change. Kids need a lot of love and attention, however diapers don’t buy themselves. There are many factors to consider when having a kid. Factors that may make you want to wait or factors that will let you know if it’s not the right thing for you. 

I am married with a kid but if someone asked me five years ago if I wanted kids, I would’ve said a big fat NO! It’s not that I hated kids, i love hanging out with little people but parenting a a whole different ballgame. Deciding not to give birth, doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or kid hater. Don’t let silly comments make you feel wrong and pressured into having kids. Same goes for people who want to conceive. I’ve recently seen a facebook post basically saying you can’t travel the world if you have kids. A lot of posts from working people have been popping up in recent times, putting down stay at home mothers, putting down people who choose to be married and start a family. Well to all the so-called Hugh Hefners out there, your mother should’ve decided to travel the world instead of giving birth to an asshole. 

Coming back to those factors now, my life partner(husband) had a huge role in me wanting kids. I think a person goes through different stages in life. I know I have experienced such. And it’s not about changing, it’s more like evolving. A certain period you may want to have kids, then another you may not want, then another you’ll change again. The chemistry with my husband conceived the idea but it’s much more than that. Mentally preparing, physically preparing, financially preparing. You have to be willing to put another human being’s wants and needs before your own. For the next 18 plus years, you will be owned by your child. If you see parenting as a sacrifice, then maybe you have no business being a parent. Sorry to put it like that but it’s the ugly truth.

I try real hard on some days to remember parts of my childhood when dealing with my daughter. I can remember things from my toddler years. Something adults forget is that kids aren’t stupid. They remember things, they feel things and it affects their lives. Neglect should not exist. Good luck!

Society Plays A Role

We don’t always feel it, we don’t always see it, but society plays a role in shaping our mentality and our lifestyles. When I was younger, I used to believe everything was sharply outlined as long as I followed what was told and expected of me. Getting a degree, settling into my dream career, marrying my knight in shining armor, planning vacations etc.

As I grew older, this vision began to fade into something called reality.

“Reality disappoints when you’re shaped by an unrealistic society” – Being Kat

Who gives society dictatorship to say who’s going to be successful or not? Why is society looking down on teenage mothers or individuals who choose not to pursue a university degree? What really are those levels and boundaries? Set by whom???
Nowadays society is telling people how to manage their relationships and friendships. Don’t believe me??? If you’re a doctor, would you marry a waitress? If you’re an accountant in some fancy office, would you marry a janitor? Now do you believe me? The world we live in today talks about equality and destroying discrimination but it will always be there. It’s a system that won’t go away. 

I fell into this life and lost myself. Some years back, I was operating like a machine. No life, no love, no laughter, I didn’t know who I was anymore. I forgot the things I loved to do. One of the first things I wanted to do was become a writer. I wanted to write movie scripts. I was infatuated with William Shakespeare in primary school and some of highschool. But it wasn’t the norm to pursure something creative like that, so it became a hobby and I never spoke of it. If I did, I would be laughed at as though I’m dreaming the impossible, and I honestly thought I was. I went through with this “norm” that everyone is hyping about. One day I just had enough and I had to make some hard decisions. I decided I wanted to live, not just survive. I wanted to reconnect with my passions, reading and writing. But how was I to just walk away from everything I was working hard at? Around that time a couple of my friends died in road accidents. I have distinct memories with each and until this day I still don’t feel like they’re really gone. But they are….just like that. Their passing really made me rethink my whole purpose in life and what I wanted. It inspired me to bring my dreams into fruition, to cease opportunities, to take risks. I was never really a risk taker, but sometimes in life, your silver lining doesn’t get handed to you on a platter. Sometimes it’s hidden inside a cloud, as the saying goes.

The day I walked out on what everyone thought was the right thing for me, I felt lighter. My heart felt younger. I was faced with some difficulties but today I am really happy. Not because my life is so perfect, not at all. Every couple of weeks I get really stressed out about things. But I am truly happy to be living my life to please myself and not society. I fell in love with my passions once more and I am thinking of writing again, this time as something to share with the world. I look forward to living each day, laughing with my daughter.