Month: November 2015

Kat Talks TV: Glenn Rhee is still alive!

TWD: After weeks of anticipation, last night we found out that Glenn is still alive. I called it though. However stupid it sounded weeks ago, I did say he would slide under that garbage dumpster. Glenn has been a total survivor on The Walking Dead.

Morgan and Enid were however pushing my buttons. And did you see the wall come crashing down at the end of the episode? *gasp*

Bitter Vs Better

Bitter vs Better…. what does this mean to you? We may see becoming a better person as a sign of weakness when in reality it could be one of our greatest strengths. Too often being bitter is chosen over being better. At first it feels great to be in a revengeful position. It’s feels like winning and that is a feeling so great that we tend to become more and more bitter to upkeep that superior position.

Bitterness is a present feeling and attitude not a future one. It’s only so long you can get a kick out of making someone else hurt or pay for what they’ve done to you. A grudge may last a super long time but not forever. Even if you don’t make peace with it, eventually you’ll need to move on.  There are people that I have chosen to simply ignore and remain silent to. Many years later I feel great that I didn’t make an a** out of myself trying to prove them wrong. 

However long you may feel bitter towards a person, whether it’s a week or years, it will indeed have an impact on you and your life. Focus on what the bitterness does to your heart and mind. Carrying around any negative feeling makes you feel heavy inside, sometimes even dirty. It’s darkens your life, it becomes you.

In the past, I have let grudges get the better part of me to the point where it was hard for me to live, to appreciate myself. I would just lock myself in my room and wallow in the fact that others made me feel uncomfortable. It made me so dark, so disconnected from my life. I felt paranoid, like everyone was out to get me. This is what happens when you stay bitter for too long. You forget to live.  

I still feel like I have wasted a portion of my life being so bitter all the time. Now that I have learned to move on and stay positive, it seems really silly that my old self was hiding from life. Life is never going to be perfect, there will always be bad things and bad people crossing your path. You can’t change that but you can change your attitude towards it. I wish I had the strength and knowledge I have now when I was a teenager, but life is a learning process and what I know now helps me to be better at handling bitterness. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am bitter quite a lot, people just don’t see it. I don’t feel the need to project my bitterness onto someone else to prove a point. We’re all human and we feel anger and hatred but we don’t always have to act on it and make stupid choices. Saying and doing things out of anger can cause you loads of embarrassment later in life.Being better towards people and situations is being better to yourself. Bitterness hinders your progress as a person. Keep your dignity, don’t stop living and don’t forget how to smile. Your happiness lies within you.

xo

Kat

Social Media, People and Their Colors

Social Media is not very social anymore. Almost everyone I know is using Facebook nowadays, before that we had MySpace and Hi5. Remember those? Anyways besides networking, keeping in touch with family via messages and photos, social media has become a platform for hatred. Now I have nothing against people with an opinion or a view whether it’s along the lines of mine or not. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. What really rubs me the wrong way, is when people become keyboard warriors. They sit behind a computer or phone and type away the worst kinds of hate,but in real life these people have no spine. And I have experienced that. People will talk about you and your views, your family, your lifestyle, your fashion etc on Facebook, yet in real life they seem to be so hunky dory with you. I would appreciate if you can disrespect me on Facebook, walk past me straight in the street. I can respect that.

You actually learn a lot about people by the things they post and like or comment on than in real life. To each his own. Despite being a very unbiased and fair person to everyone and their lifestyle of choice, I do not receive the same. I have lost way more family and friends on Facebook than I have gained. And the reason being? Because they don’t agree with my views and they are not mature enough to accept me for who I am. I honestly don’t know how these people survive through their daily lives with that attitude. Oh wait, it’s by being FAKE.

I’m not crazy to be a part of anyone’s lives, most humans annoy me, but I want to get in depth about how people can be and I prefer take my time and write here than post a one sentence status which people are going to misinterpret anyway. One of the most common things I have seen recently is that people aren’t really true to themselves. Most just go with the motion, existing through life, following what’s popular. No one is interesting anymore, nothing unique or great to bring to the table. There are few but you know what I mean.

I have always had haters, we all do, but it’s when people who I have known since I was a child and have respected, started to be offended by my diversity, is when it bothered me for a bit. I am not a bad person because I am different than the next person nor are you. Because I share different views, does not mean I am disrespecting you and your life in anyway. I cannot be done with stressing that being different is frickin’ OKAY.

I think I started noticing people’s true colors towards my life and views around the time when the kid was burned in Palestine in 2014 which sparked a series of mass killings of men,women and children. Despite the evidence people didn’t want to recognize a genocide taking place, hence they didn’t like when some of us were posting the truth. I just want to add quickly that opposing the killings of the Palestinians does not mean opposing Judaism. 

One person in particular who always interacted with me, someone who is elder than I am and I have known all my life decided to “unknow” me. Her color came out as an Islamophobe and I guess she didn’t realize that I was Muslim or had any particular political knowledge and such people tend to hate being proven wrong so I guess there is that. I cannot blame people who don’t possess the knowledge but why are you ignorant when someone answers you question? Did you not hear what you wanted to hear? I don’t agree or see things the way other people do all the time but I do respect their right to think differently. I really respect real and genuine people.

Then there are the confrontational people who will always be rude trying to prove you wrong and when you are not wrong, they cannot accept that and they get angry at you. You have offended them by being right.

This one is the most annoying. The people who are generally ignorant and are just sheeping their way through life and you want to explain to them the truth but you know it doesn’t make sense. Some are so wrapped in their blindness to even realize what’s going on. You can go on for years and they will still not see or hear what you’re saying. Like I said before I do accept people, stupidity and ignorance isn’t a crime. I cannot hold that against anyone as much as it affects my eyes on social media. One post that I can recall and it was a bit disappointing. One of my long time friends posted something about the entire country of Tunisia when some tourists were killed. How can you blame an entire country for a group of murderers? Why didn’t you mention the Tunisian people who risked their lives to help those tourists? Why be partial in your reporting? Why be a c*nt? It took me aback because this person is just like me, very unbiased and taking no sides, speaking the truth so I thought it was very beneath him honestly. I held him with better credit in my mind.

What really disappoints me in all of this are the people that were once considered family and friends. Why would you hate someone for being and thinking different? What does that say about you? At the end of the day I am just trying to be better than I was yesterday and we all are….yet we judge one another unfairly. We create hatred and division among ourselves ignorantly, for very poor reasons. We gain nothing from this hatred created on social media. Ask yourself…is this how I intend to be remembered?

xo
Kat

Book Review: Room by Emma Donoghue

I enjoyed this book, it was written very nicely and narrated from a 5 year old’s point of view. It was not too long with details that can bore you to death. I find myself preferring standalone short novels these days. Overall I would give this book a five, I have no complaints about the story or characters. No one annoyed me 🙂
If you don’t mind spoilers, keep reading!

This novel is about a woman in her mid-twenties who was kidnapped at 19 by this old creeper. He kept her in this sound proof, well insulated shed which was called “Room” in his backyard. The novel is narrated by the woman’s five year old son whom she gave birth to in the Room. He has never been or seen outside of this Room so he believes the Room is the entire world. Through his view we see how they eat, pass time, what she teaches him, their activities and so on. We also don’t get much about the kidnapper except from what little the boy sees and hears of him. They barely interact with each other at all. We even get to see how they cope and adjust to being outside the Room and the difficulties that they both have. 

Happy Reading 🙂

Reinventing Yourself

I believe life should always be a work in progress. We are always changing and evolving. Reinventing yourself means taking control of who you are and where you see yourself in the future and working towards that.

Too often we are unhappy with our lives, feeling stuck in the same situation for far too long. We begin to get bitter and call life unfair. Personally I believe luck in on your side sometimes but you can’t just sit and wait for said luck to make a presence in your life. Year after year you will feel like you’re going in circles. If you are miserable with where you’re at in life and who you are, you should get a handle on controlling your life back into perspective.

Planning and Executing. These are important in understanding and carrying out your reinvention. Many mornings we wake up and think I will do this today and that tomorrow and it never pans out. You need a solid plan(I will give some tips below) and you need to discipline yourself into being consistent in order to execute this plan/these plans.

Knowing and Understanding Yourself. You have to recognize what’s making you unfulfilled and understand why so you’ll have an idea what changes you would like to make for yourself.

Envision Your Future and Set Goals. Foresee the person you want to be and where you want to be. Make a list of the goals that you want to achieve.

Moving On. One mistake we all make when trying to modify ourselves for betterment is not letting go of the bad energy. Every day we’re planning and dreaming and feeling good about change and the majority of the time that this fails is because we fail to filter out what was causing the feeling of unfulfillment or misery etc. You can’t really move forward if what’s holding you back is still holding you back. As a woman I can tell you the majority of us lets grief/loss of friends and family cause us great misery even after time has passed.We don’t forget many things and we don’t stop feeling it either. Moving on is difficult but it’s a step you have to want to make for it to happen. You have to get rid of that bad energy,let go of what is not good for you.

Be Yourself. You’ll probably have grown up to believe life is supposed to be like this and that, but settling for less than what you want, does not make you happy. So change, make the change, even if you are alone on this. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve.

Be Courageous. Be brave enough to be yourself and do what you want to do. As long as you are making yourself happy, don’t let fear hinder your progress.

Take one step at a time. You may want that dream career or that dream guy overnight but it doesn’t happen that way. It takes time and patience, so however slow you move towards your goals, don’t feel like a failure. Give yourself a pat on the back from time to time, be easy on yourself.

Walk out of your life. This is a personal favorite of mine. I love to walk out of my life, unlearn everything I have learned and start over new. Some people need a modification and some need a complete change.

Regrets.  I’ve read articles about this and heard it a few times. People on their deathbed think about what they could have done or done differently. I don’t know how true this is. I came pretty close to dying and all I felt was peace, all the fear left me. Anyways, try not to be regretful of your life. Just take risks and step outside the box. At least you’ll know you’ve tried.

xo

Kat




Diabetes: What I Didn’t Know

For as long as I can remember I have had prediabetes. I will go more in depth on prediabetes in another post so look out for it. I had the occasional blood sugar spike, low blood sugar levels, Urinary Tract Infections, frequent urination, fatigue and night hunger/thirst. There are more symptoms relating to diabetes but these were the ones that affected me for the most part. 

About six years ago, the symptoms started getting more intense. I had really nasty headaches and blurry vision. I eventually got lenses but I still did not make the connection to diabetes. It was not until I started to get disoriented at work, feeling the need to pass out at 9am in the morning, that it crossed my mind. My mother is a type 1 diabetic who uses insulin so I was aware of some things, as well as managing the prediabetes, which I admit I didn’t do too well. I really had no idea how serious of a matter this was.

Between 2009-2010, I was really stressed out at work and at home. My health was in bad shape. I felt so terrible, but everyone just thought I was being a complainer. I eventually landed up at my doctor’s and was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I was started on medication after that.

So the first thing you understand or rather what people make you understand about diabetes is, eating too many sweets can cause diabetes, or maybe you’re overweight and that’s why you’re diabetic. WRONG! These factors along with genetics(which no one ever considers) are definitely factors that contribute to diabetes but it’s not the only thing. For instance, my diet is pretty well managed right now but I cannot come off my medication as my body does not produce enough insulin, therefore I need medication to stabilize my blood glucose levels. There are a lot of heavy people who enjoy snacks and are not diabetic. A slimmer person may look healthy to you and can be diabetic, that’s the reality of the disease. 

So I was made to feel like this is not something so serious. You just take your meds when you eat, check your glucose levels often, be active or exercise, maybe shed some weight, and stay away from sugar. So sugar automatically became the enemy. This worked for about a week. My lifestyle, diet and medications are always being altered. This disease does not have any one way to be treated.

Some people are correctly informed, maybe they have a generous doctor or nutritionist, but most people don’t know the severity of the disease. I worked at a diabetic clinic at the hospital for a couple of years and these patients know they’re taking a blood test but they don’t always know exactly for what. They don’t ask questions if the doctor makes it seem that all is okay. When I saw that I was being tested for liver and kidney disease and while doing research, it scared me. I was never told that diabetes affects almost everything in your body. 

You have to stay away from a lot of foods other than ones with just sugar content, or just have them in moderation. I will also leave this for another post but an example is CARBS. Carbs is not your friend if you are diabetic and that’s a problem sometimes because carbs give you energy. 

The scary, interesting and shocking part of living with diabetes is knowing how it can affect my body other than spiking blood sugar levels and making me feel tired.
– Heart Disease
– Stroke
– Kidney Disease
– Infection risks due to immune system suppression
– Poor Circulation
– Wounds take a long time to heal
– Neuropathy or nerve damage
– Visual loss/Blindness
– Gum/Teeth disease
– Erectile Dysfunction
– Liver Disease 

So it is just more than controlling how much sugar you consume. Being Diabetic is a Lifestyle, one that you have to put a plan into place and manage as you go along.

Disclaimer : I am not medically trained, this is just my thoughts and experiences with diabetes.

Raising Your Brats

When I was a new parent I would look at a lot of videos and do a lot of research into being the “perfect” parent. When you’re becoming a parent for the first time, people all around you will have something to share whether you want to hear it or not. After having kids, every parent thinks they’re an expert. As a new parent you will be very confused and feel incompetent mostly. Being responsible for another human, shaping the way they speak and think in the initial years is frightening. For the first two weeks of my first daughter’s life I was really worried. I felt like a failure. Here I am holding this perfect baby, I myself am not perfect so how am I supposed to raise her right?

Let me blatantly tell you from upfront…every child is different. Whatever works for someone else’s child may not work for yours. Their eating habits will be different, interests in activities will be different as well as disciplinary methods. You should enter parenting without taking others too seriously, take what they’re saying with a grain of salt. If you focus on them and their children too much, you may end up thinking there is something wrong with your child by the way she or he is responding to things. I myself am a victim of that. My first daughter walked at 18 months, she was simply just scared of falling down. Many people made me think it was my fault, maybe I didn’t do something I was supposed to, maybe something is wrong with my delayed child. 

The key is understanding your children and accepting their diverse personalities. My daughter started coming into her own at around two years old, not eating, wanting too much cartoons or candy etc. She is a few weeks shy of three and has been very challenging these past few months. I am always reinventing ways and methods to deal with her carefully. Parenting in my childhood was like a dictatorship and I would not like to repeat that with my children. Comparing your children to other people’s children is a recipe for disaster. I can speak from experience. Way into adulthood, married with two children and I still have issues with not being good enough in my parents’ eyes. 

Below I will share and discuss some things that I have observed or found helpful in being a parent.

Setting an example for your children. I think this is one of the first things that shapes children. They mimic everything we do, the way we hold a spoon, they way we speak, our manners, the way we do our hair etc. This means that they will also mimic the negative behaviors around them. They are always listening and paying attention. You may think they’re too young and don’t know what’s going on but they do and one day, they might surprise you with that negativity in public.

Knowing Your Child.  Like I was saying above, each child is different and responds to things differently. Some may be faster or slower, it is important not to compare. You will only find things wrong with your child. They are just like us, each with a different personality and mindset. Understand your child’s personality and what his or her interests are and encourage them to excel at it. For example, my daughter likes pretend play and building things. While I hate my house looking like a toy store, it’s better to encourage her interests and creativity than forcing something else on her. She is happy, I am happy. 

Too Much Affection.  Is there something as too much of this??? I don’t think so. Some people get confused between giving a child too much love and turning them into a spoiled brat. You create a brat by letting them feel like they are always entitled to their own way and having or doing whatever they want. You child needs as much affection as possible.

Getting Involved. A lot of us are just great providers for our children and that is not equivalent to great parenting. Children need attention from their parents. My daughter is constantly doing things to gain my approval and if she is ignored, her faces drops so low. They like when we express our appreciation. They need to know we are proud of them and we need to show it. The day you become a parent, you have to work your priorities around your child. Be there both physically and mentally.

Give them independence. No, I’m not going crazy. I know there is a limit to how much freedom we should give small children but you have to let them participate in their own lives. Children get tired and frustrated of always hearing no, no, no. Let them decide what they will wear today, or what they prefer for breakfast. Now you get where this is going? They also want to be independent but we as adults accuse them of being rebellious or disobedient. They aren’t always easy to parent but if you pay attention and listen to them, you may understand more than you thought you understood.

Be Consistent with Rules. This is an important one and it had blown up in my face one or two times. I have always believed and will stand my ground when I say children need routines, consistency and rules. My husband and I are the only two people that raise and discipline my daughter. Sometimes I would set down a rule and he will allow her to bend it…I can’t begin to explain how chaotic life feels at that point. I am saying one thing and she is throwing a tantrum because he said something else. What we found worked better was when we both stuck to the same rules and not give in. When she sees we mean business, there is no tantrums to throw because she knows she can’t tantrum her way out of this.

Explaining Rules. As much as rules are awesome, children won’t follow unless they have some sort of understanding of why they are doing what they are doing. Explain to them why they are being punished or why they need to eat veggies. Right now I’m having a hard time at bath time. I explain we need to take showers to get rid of germs so we won’t get sick, or we need to eat so we can grow strong and tall. It doesn’t have to be rocket science.

Adapt parenting to fit your child. As I was saying before, each child is different react differently to things. Understand how to deal with your kid, simple. For instance, time out does not work for us, that will just result in a tantrum and we would waste a day going back and forth in the corner. I just take away some privileges like cartoons or painting. If she wants to do these things, then she has to behave or listen. That may not work for each child, personalize your own parenting.

Treat Them With Respect.  We often forget that our children are humans and they have the same feelings as us. Sometimes we may want to snap at them thinking “Ohhh they’ll get over it.” They do remember. I am human, I snap on impulse. It should not be beneath you to apologize to your child. Respect them, speak to them politely, tell them thank you or good job.

It Matters To Them. Recently I butt heads with my parents about this. My daughter likes to take all her toys and line them up on the couch. It seems senseless to many parents, these random things. My parents thought my daughter was just making a mess all over. But if you pay attention to what she is saying, it makes perfect sense why the toys are lined up they way they are. She took her time and did it neatly. It makes perfect sense to her that her stuffed animal is wearing a diaper and a jacket. These random things don’t hurt anyone at the end of day, you can let it slide.

Disclaimer: I’m not an expert and whatever I said here may not make sense to you. These are just observations and things I have learnt from parenting my own daughter.

Good Luck 🙂