Month: October 2014

Kids or No Kids?

People with kids love to convince other people what joy kids will bring into their lives, how they shouldn’t wait or how rewarding it is to become a parent. People without kids think otherwise. They view kids as noisy little puke machines that will ruin their freedom/happiness. The truth is, there is no wrong or right way when it comes to deciding kids or no kids. To put it simply, parenting is not for everyone.

It should definitely be a choice and not something forced onto an individual. Everyone leads different lifestyles which may not be accommodating for a kid. And that’s fine. But with kids come change. A person must be willing mentally for this change. Kids need a lot of love and attention, however diapers don’t buy themselves. There are many factors to consider when having a kid. Factors that may make you want to wait or factors that will let you know if it’s not the right thing for you. 

I am married with a kid but if someone asked me five years ago if I wanted kids, I would’ve said a big fat NO! It’s not that I hated kids, i love hanging out with little people but parenting a a whole different ballgame. Deciding not to give birth, doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or kid hater. Don’t let silly comments make you feel wrong and pressured into having kids. Same goes for people who want to conceive. I’ve recently seen a facebook post basically saying you can’t travel the world if you have kids. A lot of posts from working people have been popping up in recent times, putting down stay at home mothers, putting down people who choose to be married and start a family. Well to all the so-called Hugh Hefners out there, your mother should’ve decided to travel the world instead of giving birth to an asshole. 

Coming back to those factors now, my life partner(husband) had a huge role in me wanting kids. I think a person goes through different stages in life. I know I have experienced such. And it’s not about changing, it’s more like evolving. A certain period you may want to have kids, then another you may not want, then another you’ll change again. The chemistry with my husband conceived the idea but it’s much more than that. Mentally preparing, physically preparing, financially preparing. You have to be willing to put another human being’s wants and needs before your own. For the next 18 plus years, you will be owned by your child. If you see parenting as a sacrifice, then maybe you have no business being a parent. Sorry to put it like that but it’s the ugly truth.

I try real hard on some days to remember parts of my childhood when dealing with my daughter. I can remember things from my toddler years. Something adults forget is that kids aren’t stupid. They remember things, they feel things and it affects their lives. Neglect should not exist. Good luck!